Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
