We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
