Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
