Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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