Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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