Is it because I queefed?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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