Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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