Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
