I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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