no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize