He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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