You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
