road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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