I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
