She is in my trunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
