What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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