he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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