I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
