i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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