This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
