You're so nebulous sometimes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
