shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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