Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
