oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
