she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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