Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
