Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
