no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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