unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
