I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
