Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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