worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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