hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
