So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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