Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
