Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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