The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
