Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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