I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
