i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
