The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
