Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just had sex on a roof
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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