Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
