I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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