i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
