Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
