Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
