what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
