I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
