are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
