And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
