I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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