if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
