We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize