this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
