i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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