We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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