If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
