She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
