Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
