Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
