I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
