wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
