none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
