Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
it's like heaven, but drunker
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
