I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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