Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize