Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
