im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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