Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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