Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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