When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
