I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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