Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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