Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
