I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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